pattern

I've been trying to bury the year 2010 thinking it was one of my worst years.
Interestingly, as I was washing my hands in the bathroom it occured to me that 2010 wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be...Two of my very best friends crossed the ocean and came to see me here in the States. During the 3 years that I've been back in the U.S., that has only happened in 2010.
Year 2010 was a mix of ups and downs. God must have been trying to remind me of the good that came from it. I was torturing myself by not reflecting and coming to terms with this past year before letting go of it and rather trying to bury it by force.
Ah, I see the pattern of how I deal with things whether it be my emotions or thoughts: I avoid, suppress, bury, try to erase! And all of that just reappears in the form of unhappiness.
I thought I was being efficient but I was actually keeping myself behind. Who in the world tries to be efficient with their feelings and thoughts anyways YB? -_-
Writing this all down is bringing me such clarity.