God you know what's best and I just need to learn to trust you, take your word for it, stop being so stubborn about the world that I don't have a clue about.
It's interesting the same mistakes I make even though after each time I tell myself, I'll never do that again...
You have no idea what's in store for you where He places you at the moment. So stop complaining.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
pattern
I've been trying to bury the year 2010 thinking it was one of my worst years.
Interestingly, as I was washing my hands in the bathroom it occured to me that 2010 wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be...Two of my very best friends crossed the ocean and came to see me here in the States. During the 3 years that I've been back in the U.S., that has only happened in 2010.
Year 2010 was a mix of ups and downs. God must have been trying to remind me of the good that came from it. I was torturing myself by not reflecting and coming to terms with this past year before letting go of it and rather trying to bury it by force.
Ah, I see the pattern of how I deal with things whether it be my emotions or thoughts: I avoid, suppress, bury, try to erase! And all of that just reappears in the form of unhappiness.
I thought I was being efficient but I was actually keeping myself behind. Who in the world tries to be efficient with their feelings and thoughts anyways YB? -_-
Writing this all down is bringing me such clarity.
Interestingly, as I was washing my hands in the bathroom it occured to me that 2010 wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be...Two of my very best friends crossed the ocean and came to see me here in the States. During the 3 years that I've been back in the U.S., that has only happened in 2010.
Year 2010 was a mix of ups and downs. God must have been trying to remind me of the good that came from it. I was torturing myself by not reflecting and coming to terms with this past year before letting go of it and rather trying to bury it by force.
Ah, I see the pattern of how I deal with things whether it be my emotions or thoughts: I avoid, suppress, bury, try to erase! And all of that just reappears in the form of unhappiness.
I thought I was being efficient but I was actually keeping myself behind. Who in the world tries to be efficient with their feelings and thoughts anyways YB? -_-
Writing this all down is bringing me such clarity.
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